Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Athena was very persistent on making me going to sleep every night. It was both erotic and boring at the same time. What could be more boring than sleeping? Nothing kinky about it. But when forced upon me, it felt very kinky. Sometimes I wanted to talk. Or to beg released from chastity. Or just to scratch an itch. But I wasn’t able to do anything, not too different from being gaged and bound. Every three or four days Athena would put me under hypnosis and give me a handjob. I would appear comatose, no sound nor movement. Athena would wipe me clean and go to sleep after. I didn’t know what was the appeal. I was alert and aware of what was going on the whole time under hypnosis, but incapable of doing anything. During the day time, I mentioned to Athena she didn’t have to give me handjobs at all. Or she could wait for longer intervals. That fell on deaf ears. So after a few weeks chastity became boring. I was getting orgasms about every three days. Usually sooner. I wanted longer periods of chastity, but Athena just did whatever she wanted and ignored me. Therefore, I came up with the idea of using chastity to help me quit smoking. Athena always wanted me to quit smoking. I said that she could talk directly to my unconscious to find out if I smoked, and then hand out punishment/reward. I read cautions against using hypnosis for therapy by non-professionals. I figured that I’m using chastity, not hypnosis, so it should be safe. We spent the first few days making sure that my unconscious could not lie to Athena. Luckily it turned out to be true. Then one evening Athena really took her time putting me under hypnosis. I was under deeply. Athena: You may move freely. Talk to me. Did you smoke today? I opened my eyes and moved around a little bit. I didn’t feel any different. Then I sat down. I knew I was under hypnosis only because the long induction and no counting up waking sequence yet. Otherwise I felt normal. Then I answered “Yes. Only one cigarette.” Athena: One week without orgasm. Me: Cool. I wish you would be more in charge of me like that. Can you act angrily? Athena: Oh, that’ll be fun. Ok, here it goes, I’m going to pretend angry. Watch me, I’m really angry now. If you smoke again, it will be 30 days of chastity. I didn’t know it, but under hypnosis without my conscious self’s presence, my analytical facility was gone. I could not tell if Athena was actually angry or just pretend, even though she told me she was pretending. It looked real to me and burned an impression deeply in my unconscious. It was truly frightful to me. I slid down from the chair to the floor, buried my head between my knees in a fetal position trembling. I searched my analytical facility in vain, trying to get it to tell me that it was not real, that it was only an act. I barely made it out in a shaky voice, “wake me up now…” Athena had no idea what was going on in my head. But she knew it’d be better not to wake me up right away. “Go to your safe place. Calm.” She spent some time to sooth me before counting up to wake me. That awful frightful feeling lingered for a few seconds and then it became memory. But it was very vivid and intense that I never wanted to experience it again. That was seven months ago as I’m writing this. I haven’t smoked since.