Disclosure: contains hypnotic language which may trance some people.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Conspiracy of myself against myself

Eager to get more hypnotic phenomena to work, I bought several files of different things from LeeAllure to try.

One of the techniques Lee used was addressing directly to my unconscious by name explicitly. Such as “I’m talking directly to the unconscious” in the script itself. I enjoyed this technique and wanted to experiment more with it. After all, it worked great in the Pop Quiz game: my unconscious successfully hid knowledges from my conscious self beyond reach.

I think Lee prefers the term unconscious, but I prefer subconscious myself. Unconscious sounded too much like in a coma or dreamless sleep that there would be no brain activities at all. That’s not the case for hypnosis in which there can be lots of brain activities. I don’t know the formal definition of unconscious vs. subconscious. I just use the term I like.

So once or twice a week, when we had time, I asked Athena to talk to my subconscious to form a bond with him. I paraphrased Lee’s words and used some of my own. Such as “subconscious, you enjoy me talking directly to you,” “nobody acknowledges your existence except me.” The basic idea was for Athena to make good impressions with my subconscious to form a bond. Like courting. We didn’t really do anything else with it, since we didn’t have the time and would rather be sleeping. The bonding suggestions took only a few seconds; the length of time to utter a sentence or two. We did it before we went to sleep.

I remember reading psychologist Carl Jung stated something like this: the evidence of subconscious existence is overwhelming. There is no debate of its existence. However, it is extremely difficult to observe it directly. Furthermore, the problem is much like quantum physics or subatomic particles, the observed is not independent of the observer. The subconscious knows when it’s being observed, and may hide information, lie, or distort the outcome.

What Jung didn’t say, is that unlike many other branches of science, subconscious is something that we can look introspectively. Everybody has a subconscious with them all the time. We don’t need to build a Mars Rover. I could easily ask myself: How did I feel about that? Did I like it? What would I do differently? Would I want to try something else?

I began to feel the presence of my subconscious after Athena repeated talking directly to him like a separate entity. My subconscious started to manifest itself. I started to notice sometimes, my subconscious would have his own preference, different from my conscious self. Such as preference of chicken sandwich vs. hamburger. But mainly my subconscious was incredibly loyal and obedient to Athena. More so than my conscious self would. And more so than obedience to me. My subconscious self would do things to me, against my conscious self, for Athena.

I almost feel that I have multiple personalities. Except that we are aware of each other’s presence. And we share memories. As in Pop Quiz showed, my subconscious can block access to my memory from my conscious self temporarily. My conscious self is not bothered though. Every time certain memory is blocked, I can hear my subconscious assuring that it’s ok, because it’s only temporary, only for fun, the memory is always there for me to access if I really need to. The loyalty may be to Athena, but he will always be protective of me too. The assurance from my subconscious feels comforting and safe.

At times I felt there was a conspiracy forming though. It would be a conspiracy formed by my subconscious self against my conscious self. My subconscious was recruiting Athena, conspiring with her, to do things to me. It would be kinky, sexy, daring, and exciting. My subconscious hadn’t figured out what to do yet, but that's what he wanted, and he was letting my conscious self know.

1 comment:

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